5 Reasons why the UK isn’t sh*t…


Pic: Asphalt & Rubber

Plagued with obesity and cheating benefit scummers, run by James Blunts and fraudsters, and a distinct lack of cornering nirvana, the UK isn’t that bad after all. Here are just five reasons why…


1 – Extendabenda exhausts in Japan

Ducati’s Panigale range is a thing of beauty, although ruined in Japan due to emission laws and noise restrictions with what looks like a 1980’s Micron exhaust to please neighbours. Check out the dummy underslung exit on this 899. Nice.


2 – In Switzerland, riding your motorcycle on a track is forbidden

I mean, come on: how idiotic and reckless is stretching the legs of your 200bhp motorcycle on a circuit? Since 1958, the H&S-heavy Swiss government banned all motorcycle racing. To make matters worse, you can’t even ride your bike on a trackday. These radical Swiss thrill-seekers have to cross the border.


3 – Motors and pedals mix it up in Sweden

Among the barrage of cycle paths in Sweden, mopeds are allowed to rip-it-oop with actual pedal cyclists, STDs SPDs and all. Imagine the road rage in the UK? It’d be civil war, I tell thee. The Scandinavians are a friendly bunch though.


4 – You can buy a bike licence in Kuwait, so long as your face fits

L-plates, CBT, A1/A2 licences, a shit-load of money and years of training? Not in Kuwait, or many other Middle-East countries for that matter. While living out there, a mate of ours was offered a bike licence, without training or examination at an obvious cost. Rather them than us given the road etiquette.


5- The French still insist on the 100bhp limit

Since 1985, all motorcyclists in France have been buggered by a 100bhp limit – and all while having to carry a breathalyser in your pocket, adding more unwanted mass. That means your €20,000 BMW is the same power as a €1,000 600cc shitter. Of course, not all residents follow the strict laws and the limit is due to be lifted. Shrug shoulders, ‘Je ne sais pas’…


Know of anymore stupidity? Let us know


  7 comments for “5 Reasons why the UK isn’t sh*t…

  1. Chris R Deans
    February 12, 2015 at 3:49 am

    Lane-splitting is forbidden in 49 of 50 U.S. states. The exception? California!

    • Paul
      February 26, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      Yup, it’s ridiculous. I just moved to the US and I’m on the verge of becoming the FBIs most wanted as I break the law all day everyday.

  2. Duncan
    February 12, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    The UK (especially London) is sh*t because you can’t ride a nice bike without some c**t stealing it.

  3. Hallam
    February 12, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    Almost rethinking a European motorcycle adventure, almost. Nz has none of those stupid rules ,just below average road surface quality,even on state highways.

  4. McSpaff
    February 14, 2015 at 2:35 am

    In Indonesia (Biggest motorcycle market in the world), there is a mega tax on all motorcycles above 250cc. Most of them are buzzing around on a Repsol-liveried 110cc “Blade R” step-thru/bike mongrel monstrosity. Poor buggers.

  5. Ross
    February 14, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    I’ve just moved from London to Ontario Canada. They exchanged my car license like for like but took my bike license away, they told me I have to retake my test. Ok must be more stringent here then? No no no, the test is madness, all you need do (this goes for any one with an Ontario car license) is sit a written multiple choice to get the M1 license, this allows you to ride ANY bike straight away, no CC or power restrictions, no training, no test not even a CBT. Oh, you can’t ride at night and you can’t have alcohol… Big deal, this means someone with no experience what so ever could go jump on a blade or 1299 and get straight out on public roads, roads that are full of monster trucks and some of the worst driving standards I’ve seen. I got insured with M1 status on a Panigale for just over £1k, so that’s no issue either. You get 90 days before you either re-take the written or come back and do an M2 (this is just negotiating some cones in a car park). They say “Upon receiving your M1 go away and gain some experience, after 60 days come take the M2.” Given the standards of the UK tests and training it is absurd, they take the full UK A class license away but gave me full car license status without so much as a leaflet on the Canadian road signs and rules, theres no difference in rules of the road for bikes here! The M2 test is a joke and it lets you ride (during night time too now though wtf?) for 18 months then they test you out on the road to get the full ‘M class license.’ Can’t wait to see what that entails on the day. This is a deeply flawed system and the police seem to have piss all else to do but pull people and fine them for creeping over their ridiculously low speed limits. British B roads suddenly don’t seem so bad any more…

  6. Richard Franklin
    November 23, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    No lane splitting allowed in Germany either- officially. But saying that I was never pulled for it in 3 years living and riding and lane-splitting there. One thing they do which maybe should be copied in the UK is to ban the use of “”dangerous” roads by bikes over the weekend (well, from 12:00 saturday actually). Why? Because the vast majority of accidents were happening at weekends to non-local people who didn’t know the roads. Which means that the locals (me) could enjoy the roads during weekdays, Perfect. Compare that to the sad story on the Cat and Fiddle road, Which would you pick?

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