Let’s all vote for The Green Party…

tgp_1299_1Embroiled in parliamentary affairs, alluring lies, deceitful bullshit and party political broadcasts, the general election is nearly upon us – not that we’re politically circumspect. Who are you voting for? Do you even vote? What policies matter? After TV funny man and avid biker, Ross Noble alerted his twitter followers to The Green Party’s motorcycle manifesto, I had to sit in the fridge for a while to cool down.

The fact that the party’s leader, Natalie Bennett couldn’t run a press conference let alone this country, and that The Greens are no more than a token façade temporarily eased the wrath. But The Green’s motorcycle policy reads:

“Smaller, low powered motorcycles are generally preferable to cars (especially those with a single occupant) as they take up less road space and are more economic consumers of fuel. However, the Green Party does not wish to see increased use of motorcycles because they emit pollution and noise and can endanger road users. The aim is to encourage much less use of high powered machines and for low powered machines to offer an alternative for those who currently use these or cars and could not transfer to more sustainable modes.

“The Green Party would take measures to encourage a transfer of motor cycle manufacture and use from larger, powerful machines to less powerful ones including scooters and mopeds. These would include setting and enforcing strict noise limits and, for higher powered machines, speed limiters.

“For the safety of other users, the Green Party does not feel it appropriate for motorcyclists to be able to use any priority measures put in for pedestrians and cyclists, including those shared with public transport.”

The Green’s twitter desk later replied with: “There has been a lot of discussion about this safety point and looks like it will be reviewed by members at autumn conference.”

Of course, once Bennett’s puny congress eventually gets control of the UK, the roads will be a safer, cleaner place because motorcycles are obviously the crux of this country’s transport problems.

To be fair to The Greens (if there was such a phrase), their policy is the only one to mention motorcycling (that we can see), though that’s scant redemption. There’s no hint of nasty, petroleum-burning two-wheelers in the Tories’ manifesto: they’re too engrossed in millions of pounds worth of railway investment, likewise the HS2-happy Labour party. The exception is the well-known superbike aficionado, Nigel Farage who recently joined MAG (Motorcycle Action Group) – more than likely as a failed publicity stunt.

Personally, I wouldn’t vote/have any trust for any of the ‘big’ party leaders, who have little understanding of reality, but I’m sure I speak for many riders when saying The Green Party can suck on my hairy balls I would never vote for The Green party

  10 comments for “Let’s all vote for The Green Party…

  1. Matt
    April 22, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    I don’t even want to start rambling on about how motorcyclist “can endanger road users” …I facepalmed and had to compose myself before beginning to type this, but if they had said something like, “We would encourage and support the use of smaller capacity motorcycles as alternative commuters over the more powerful 600cc+ range of motorcycles used across the UK, encourage young drivers to use motorcycles and scooters as a financial alternative to ease congestion and pollution on UK roads. Blah blah bullshit false promises blah.”

    This is yet more proof that a retard with no practical and useable knowledge of their field of expertise in a suit is still a retard.

  2. Greg Matthews
    April 23, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Completely agree, bunch of raving lunatics, which is a shame because their Scottish counterparts aren’t a bad bunch.

  3. Nick
    April 23, 2015 at 7:22 am

    Yet again we see the bullshit rhetoric coming from Westminster a place more detatched from actual humanity than anywhere else in the World. Vote for me for PM and here is what I would promise –

    The abolishment of the stealth cameras on the M25 they are not there for safety purely as a money making device. The tearing down of speed cameras that aren’t in accident black spots and the revenue generated from the remaining cameras would be used to repair the sorry state of our roads.

    Traffic Police to wear bright pink uniforms and drive bright pink cars ensuring that they cannot sneak up on Motorists and are well marked out at all times and give most of them training on how to actually speak to people instead of speaking to us like Third World Dictators.

    Compulsory purchase of all property surrounding race tracks in the UK and demolition of said properties to create nature conserve areas who’s residents I’m pretty sure wouldn’t moan about the noise from a race track that has always been there was there when they bought their house but only after moving in did they decide it was a problem.

    Putting the Great back into Britain by helping smaller firms get off the ground and investing in local farmers and produce for our supermarkets.

    Massive Super Rich tax taking 70p in the pound on anything over £100k a year especially football players. Anybody with a net worth of more than £1 million should have to donate 20% to research and development of motorsport and the education of car drivers on how to look for motorcycles.

    Make taking a CBT mandatory before even being allowed to drive a car so everybody on the road knows how exposed bikers are.

    People using mobile phones whilst driving will be shot on site, no trial, no jury just a bullet through the head and send their family charges for the bullet and the burial and all of their assets seized and turned over to the state.

    • Alastair Fagan
      April 23, 2015 at 8:46 am


      • Nick
        April 23, 2015 at 1:59 pm

        #AllHailMegatron lol

    • April 23, 2015 at 4:22 pm

      That would be much better, although I think that the Super Rich tax part is a little harsh, maybe increase to £500k, obviously there are exceptions but a lot of them (not footballers) work(ed) hard to get their salary and deserve it. #VoteForNick

    • Scott
      April 24, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      #MotorcycleParty #NickIsOurLeader #HastagsAreDumb

  4. Chris
    April 23, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    Nick you forgot to abolish the road fund licence, duty on fuel for motorcycles and ban biofuel additives to Super unleaded for us plastic tank brethren.

    Mind you there could be some good in this? (hear me out) The motor industry have been combatting these tree hugging heathens for years, they will just adapt by producing 50cc twist and go’s with twin turbo’s and superchargers that’ll do 0 – Tesco Express in 2.4sec and 180mph, all on a thimble of fuel, and then finally I might be able to get a pizza delivered which is somewhere near hot. That can’t be a bad thing can it?

    • Nick
      April 23, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      Damn it Chris you’re right I did. Like the idea of the pocket rocket though that could be mega fun and cheap as chips to run. If only they invented a bike to run on beer…..

  5. April 23, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    ‘The Government’ (governing body’s) yet again are trying suck as much fun out of society as possible. It’s already pretty naff for us younger riders, don’t ruin our future as well!
    If country does go down this route, one day the country will be split between mindless boring drone-like people and a rebellious group resisting oppression. Yes I’m am taking it a b it far, but you get my point!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *